We're trying to buy a house and the mortgage provider have said that our outgoings are too high for us to qualify for the amount we need to borrow. I thought they just went on your combined income?

What's the solution? I need to work to pay the mortgage, so i need the childcare, but the childcare costs mean we can't get the house

The lender's right. You have to take into account what you can afford to repay every month. All your regular expenditure needs to be factored into the amount you borrow. You won't be providing much stability if it all goes pear-shaped and you lose the house through mortgage arrears. Be realistic and don't overstretch yourself.